We’re All Getting Older and Growing Up
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010I have noticed that everyone around me is getting older. When I say everyone I mean all of my close friends and family. And I don’t just mean that they are ageing. I mean they are maturing and continue to set goals for themselves. This year one of my best friends became a national dance champion. Another of my friends won state in bowling. It is really interesting to see how far we have come in the last few years.
I have become part of the basketball team and part of the track and field team while my other friend is more into the arts. He takes part in the fall play and the spring musical and this year he had leading rolls in each. It makes me happy to see that we have all succeeded in blending socially with other kids though our interests differ quite a bit.
That means that we have each separated enough to be our own people and have our own personalities and interests. That means that though we are still friends we have made our own friends and when we eventually have to separate to have our own lives it will be much easier. I guess that really is what growing up is all about.
Contemplation
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009I watched the President’s speech tonight and the one word that came to mind was contemplation. It was great, rather you agree with President Obama or not, that he really thought about and contemplated the decision of sending more troops to Afghanistan. Sending our men and women in the military into a war should always take this much thought and I appreciated the fact that time was taken to consider all the options.
I also cannot imagine how you make a decision when there really is no good option. We can discuss and argue, yell and scream whether the decision was the right one or not; or we can bind together as a nation and finish what was started nine years ago and abandoned along the way. With every decision made on a national or local level, there is monetary as well as an emotional cost that we all have to pay. To think we can accomplish something without putting in the work is like believing you can loose weight by eating a gallon of ice cream every night before bed; it’s ain’t going to happen. I hope you take the time and contemplate your next big decision so you can make it with confidence and grace.
Being a Grandparent
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009I never really thought about being a grandparent until it happened. And I must admit that I wasn’t the best grandparent in the beginning because I didn’t understand nor know what role I would bring to the table; after all I am the divorced father of the dad. It seems that the parents of the mom are the ones who are “in” from the very beginning and I wasn’t really all that keen on seeing my ex at every function from now on. However, as my grandson has aged a few years, I will make whatever concession I have to in order to spend time with him and his new sister.
What I have learned is being a grandparent is not about you at all; it’s all about the grandkids. I don’t think they hung the moon or are the smartest, prettiest and brightest children ever; I just think they are great kids that I want to be around for a long time. They have inspired me to be a better person and to have fun again. I laugh more these days and enjoy playing again and they like me too! Though I had no idea what to expect being a grandparent, it has been a great adventure finding out and I highly recommend it!
Could You Live Small?
Thursday, July 16th, 2009As an interior designer I love to read about different ideas that talk about spatial issues. I tend to be drawn to books about living smaller. I know that may seem contrary to some coming from an interior designer. However, living smaller really exercises the creative aspect of design. Anyone, with enough space, can come up with ways to organize and store our personal belongings. How much space do we really need, and now that everyone is talking “green” how efficient is it to have all that space? In the last year or so I read a book entitled “Put Your Life on a Diet: Lessons Learned from Living in 140 Square Feet.”
The author lives in a mobile home – literally. He can hook his home up to the trailer hitch of his car and go anywhere. What amazed me was his quality of living and out-of-the-box thinking approach to life. He lives completely “off the grid” meaning he has no utilities whatsoever. He gets up in the morning and bikes to the gym where he works out and then uses their facilities to shower, shave, and well you know. He takes his laptop to do his work at the library. Doing this he is using power that is already being used, so no additional electricity is used. He charges the battery there so he can use the battery power at home as necessary. There are many ways to live green, and although we may not choose be as extreme to go “off the grid” and move into a trailer house, we can challenge ourselves to be creative in conserving and living a more simple life that will in essence make us more green.
Get Creative
Monday, July 6th, 2009One of the things that is lacking today are ways to be creative. Yes, I know you can sit for hours and play video games or listen to music and connect with friend on your computer and while some call that creative, it is not. Being creative is figuring out how to do something or make something with what you have available to you. It’s looking at a problem or situation and being able to see it from different angles or viewpoints in order to see how something could fit with another.
It can be putting two different thoughts together to create another thought or stream of thought. You can engage tools such as scissors, paste and glue or envision something grand within the corners of your mind. Creativity is when you take control and build, model, think, write, picture, draw, sew, play or a number of other forms it can take and just do it. You don’t look it up on the computer or watch a show about it; you get off the couch and do it. Be creative today and do something different than you did yesterday. You may be amazed at what you can accomplish and create!
Solutions to Decrease Divorce Rates
Sunday, July 5th, 2009One way divorce rates can be lowered is through pre-marital education. Engstrom notes that pre-marital education is basically a program where couples learn from a qualified instructor about common marital conflicts and ways to overcome them (Engstrom). It can serve to engage a couple into a conscious state in order discover more about each other and confirm that they understand what marriage entails. Essentially, they will come to know each other’s individual philosophies about family, fidelity, finances, and etcetera. Sharon Jayson, in her article, stresses the fact that the number of couples receiving pre marital education has been increasing and results have shown that it can give their new marriages divorce protection. Also, a random phone survey of 3,344 adults in four states said that couples who received premarital education had a 31 percent lower chance of divorce (Jayson). Though numbers of couples partaking in pre-marital education has increased, there is always room for improvement.
Another way in which divorce rates can be lowered is through marriage mentoring. It is highly unlikely that any couple’s marriage would be perfect and full of satisfaction. Arguments and misapprehension are inevitable and can occur gradually as well as spontaneously during the married life. Marriage mentoring can serve to rekindle a dwindling relationship by teaching couples how to resolve a conflict in a healthy manner. This task can be accomplished by means of establishing practical approaches that would help couples to practice good communication. The approach, as a result, can serve to coach couples on how to be assertive without being offensive. Both spouses can then talk about issues openly without the fear of hurting one another. Marriage mentoring essentially provides a mechanism for couples to strengthen their relationship and can form a gateway to better pleasure in marriage.
Divine Intervention and Smoking
Friday, June 12th, 2009In the early 1990s my mother started showing the signs of COPD, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. She knew that if she couldn’t quit the disease would progress very fast, but she still was unable to stop. One day, after a very scary incident of not being able move her body or breathe she started to pray. She began to surrender to a Supreme Being, asking for help. “It’s obvious I can’t do this alone,” mom said.
By the next morning things changed. Mom said her bedroom was “filled with the presence of an angel.” Her experience was so profound that she was convinced that an actual angel helped her, although it couldn’t be proven. She insisted that the angel filled her with a healing presence. From that moment on my mother never had a desire for a cigarette. Her addiction was completely lifted.
Inspired by my mother’s story – and unable to kick the smoking habit myself – I decided to pray and ask the angels for help to quit my problem. Although I never was “visited” in person by an angel in quite the same way as my mother, my prayer was answered. One morning, not long after surrendering my own addiction to a Supreme Being and the angels, I woke up with absolutely no desire to smoke. I haven’t had a craving for a cigarette in several years.
The Exploration of Ourselves
Friday, May 1st, 2009We think when we are out in the world exploring all the daring and dangerous things in the elements and environment that we are brave and on the verge of being heroes. Yet I am here to say that those who delve into the depths of the unknown to find out who they are so they can live a more abundant and fulfilling life maybe the ones who are closer to heroism then anyone else on earth. It is easier to DO things than it is to understand WHY we do things. It is easier to blame others for the world’s ills than it is to take responsibility of ones self and the ills we alone have brought to our world and to those around us.
To take the voyage of self exploration and discovery is to risk knowing more than you can bear of your thoughts and your actions because once you know them you must live with them. You will find the demons that lay in wait in your soul and discover that the only way to peace is to embrace them and love them into submission; thus forgiving yourself transgressions and forging a new relationship based on the knowledge of who you really are. You can no longer look at yourself in the mirror in passing for you can see the person who is looking back at you and know you have explored this person and hope to come to like them as a friend and love them as your family. God help you if you don’t.